10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Parent

Because All Great Things Require Sacrifice

  1. It’s scary AF. Thinking about all the issues you have as an adult you blame you’re parents for, well, now you’re the parent and whatever your child puts in those blank spaces, good/bad/indifferent, will be due to whatever you did wrong/right in their eyes. I mean honestly, what pressure, right??
  2. Your child is going to be annoying. Even yours… so stop judging.  If kids came with a controller that adjusted their moods to match yours, things would be a lot less complex. However, since this upgrade has not happened yet, you’ll probably get the talkative version of your child on a migraine day and the moody one when you’ve planned a fun outing. C’est la vie!!!
  3. You will second guess yourself constantly. My child is 9 and I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. It could be from something as little as which shirt to add to a Children’s Place order,  or whether or not to let him play tackle football. Nothing is ever an easy decision but every moment one needs to be made.
  4. How do you establish a perfect balance between giving them the world and not creating a spoiled brat? I mean honestly, I want my child to have a better life but how many times have you purchased something they had a meltdown over that barely made it home because interest dissipated once the package was opened. Needing to give them more than you had while giving them a foundation and skill set so they can have the work ethic to hunt for themselves is an actual struggle
  5. You will ignore your kid. My child starts every sentence with mommy and if I’m not looking at him, I’m not listening and to get my attention, he will repeat my name over and over and over until I answer. I have developed a twelfth sense that alerts me of tones that need immediate attention; pain, sadness, true joy. For the non-emergencies, I have an automated mommy response that usually goes, ‘Huh? What? Good job baby’. I admit, a lot of times the response doesn’t apply, but I’m halfway figured out to a plausible plan.
  1. Your child will hurt your feelings. It’s just in their nature. When he was 3 he told me his father was funnier and to this day when he laughs at my joke at the back of my mind, I always question if I’m getting the pity laugh. My son probably doesn’t even remember he said this, 6 years ago on that sunny May morning when I had on the pink sweater and…. yeah, my feelings are still hurt! 
  2. There is no shame in needing a break from your child. Sometimes we just need space from each other. That saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is beyond accurate.  After about 5 days of him being gone, I start to struggle, but for the most part, a couple of days apart resets both our love meters. Even when it’s not days, sometimes it’s a play date while too take a moment and catch up with an adult human friend to gauge your sanity.  Either way, needing to regroup as a parent is not a sign of failure but rather emotional awareness that is beneficial in all healthy relationships. 
  3. Kids are never the same so don’t compare milestones or personalities. It’s not even worth it. There will always be kids that do some things better, while some may take a little longer in some things. Where your kid lies on that axis is their growth and it’s up to us as parents to equip them with tools for success and then continually support them. 
  4. Worrying never goes away. When I found out I was pregnant, I worried about the gender then the health of my baby boy. When he was born I worried I wouldn’t understand his needs since he couldn’t tell me. When he was a toddler I worried about what he should be exposed to with food, entertainment, vaccines, etc. Now my list includes those old items and new ones. It doesn’t end because out of all the lives entangled with mine, his is one I can’t fail. 
  5. Most demanding job ever. Pay sucks but benefits are astronomical. Actually, it’s a job mentally taxing requiring spiritual backup and mental fortitude that goes beyond the norm. Even with all this, it’s a job that as a sane adult, I would pick over and over and over again.

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