Ode To A FuckBoy!!!

¨Tell a lie once, and all your truths become questionable¨ – Unknown

Oooohhhhh…

So you´re a fuckboy!!!

The super deluxe kind though that we all shake our heads at after we discover some of your rancid behavior and say ¨nnnaahhhhh…he wouldn´t do that!¨

The kind that Bob Marley warned us against,

you remember right?

The cowardly type of man that awakens a woman´s love with no intention of loving her?

The type that carries all his collectible baggage in a way that we are convinced HE is actually the hero stuck in an unfortunate cycle of misadventures.

When in fact,

you are the preying villain, feasting on the biggest hearts that spin your flaws into hopeful priceless gems.

Standing ovation, kid – you nailed this show.

You were a simple magician spinning all your fuckery and insecurities in an act so riveting, my complex mind stuck around and ignored that I ooo´d and aahhh´d with another H.E.R…

Even though I was attending a private screening

dedicated to ´my one true love´.

Your web of lies unraveling like that unruly piece of thread you notice hanging at the bottom of your sexy dress on a much needed night out and knowing that,

1) burning it will ruin the dress

2) cutting it will delay the demise but not stop it

and

3) hiding it in the hem will aesthetically fix the problem, but every step after that will be half-taken because at the very back of my mind, I still know that my threads are undone.

Man…You´re a Fuckboy!

OK…OK…

It´s not nice to call you names

BUT… FUCK… BOY!

You fed me so much high frequency potential that I ignored your low vibrational reality that translates into a liars lair.

What will you tell your daughters when one day their hearts are stained with the same pain and resentment caused by another who played your very game?

Will it be then, that you will admit that your misactions caused another heart to break?

If I could go back to the day we met, I would slash every one of my tires and delay each serendipitous moment that led to our hellos.

In my fit of rage today,

I pulled out our box of memories; with my wiser eyes, instead of seeing memories of a happier time,

I pulled out flag after flag.

Each one red – and each one perfectly equally dangerous as the last.

Lesson after lesson,

How oblivious was I?

Because the person you are is a culmination of these flags you handed me.

Some laced with your white lies, but when lined up in order those little white lies embossed into one big lie – that you were all mine.

My intuition chuckles as I throw the flags in a flurry – broken.

As my sobs quiet down…

My courage gets louder.

I´ll make a quilt from all these stupid flags and call it our child.

I´ll birth it with the same pretend threads of love and protection that you held me with during our ¨magical¨ time.

Or maybe for a permanent fix –

I´ll let the tears falling effortlessly for a lost love, seal the folds of this magnificent symbol of unequivocal hate.

¨The mind replays, what the heart can´t delete¨ – Bob Marley

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