¨Love is giving someone the power to destroy you.. but trusting them not to¨
How do I know if you are worth going through the struggles of life with or if you are the person who is decreasing my worth and causing some of my struggles?
Why do I allow these non-progressive thoughts into my love chasm and give them food and air to grow into substantial full blown topics of late night insecurity driven debates that usually start with a whispered, ¨Do you love me?¨
My mind shunned your imperfections but my heart wouldn´t budge or erase you from the deepest depths of my soul. I stumbled through the motions of handling the situations that left my heart tender and bruised. I trained my mind to focus on all the real and present good around me..but that silly big heart of mine reminded me that you were absent.
First chance, second, third and fourth.
Am I blinded by my adoration of you or do I self sabotage the true existence of us by dictating our path based on my desires of what it should be – and overlook the beauty of our simply twisted masterpiece drenched in the rawness of unfiltered love?
Does my ability to be so vocal with my expectations of wants silence your soft quieter attempts at breaking your hardened shell? Am I denying you the chance to get familiar with the sound of your own emotional voice before I force you to gain the same emotionally loud bravado that I so effortlessly flaunt?
If I follow my heart and deny my fears, will you love me enough to break the chains of who you have been and let me in so we can create a newly safe reality that only belongs to you and I?
Can you promise me that through all our future dark and stormy nights you´ll be strong enough to stay there next to me as we sleep and let our exhales be the therapy that allows our faces to be the others brightest and safest new good morning?
Will you be strong enough to let my inner fears meet yours and not run from the reality that my perfections and insecurities amalgamated to form this complex creation called ME?
Can you be brave enough to see the demons I´m battling as OUR enemy but still give ME the space to conquer them alone?
Can you promise to be worth going through struggles of life with and not decrease my worth and be the cause of some of my struggles?
¨It´s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee¨
– Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)